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DEAR ABBY: I am a victim of childhood sexual assault. I’m 52, and memories that I have repressed for so many years are coming back to haunt me. I have been with my husband for 14 years. We have enjoyed a very sexual relationship, but, lately, the memories are causing me to want to avoid intimacy with him. I want to tell law enforcement, but my mother is still married to my abuser, and I don’t want to hurt her. He also molested my older sister and cousin. Help me, please. -- TIRED OF LIVING IN MISERY DEAR TIRED: I am so sorry about what happened to you. I will assume that you have not received counseling to help you deal with this. If that’s the case, I urge you to seek some now. Talk with your sister and your cousin. Explain that the memories of being molested by your mother’s husband have come back in full force, and ask if they will join with you in filing a police report about what he did. If they refuse, do it alone. It may save other young women from being assaulted by him. If your mother is unaware of what happened, she deserves to know. ** DEAR ABBY: Some longtime friends, “the Smiths,” are driving us crazy. They are the kind of people who would do anything for us, but we’re at the end of our rope with them. Every single conversation involves listening to them brag about their son or grandson, neither of whom is anything special. The Smiths never ask about our kids or grandkids.
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DEAR ABBY: I have a special-needs son and cannot travel with him alone. I have also been in a committed relationship for two years. When my aunt’s youngest daughter got married last year, I clearly stated that I would not be able to attend because of these limitations. Now her son is getting married. The family sent out an electronic invitation and asked for a plus-one. Since my son will be with my parents during the wedding, I filled it out with my name and my partner’s name.
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DEAR ABBY: Every year like clockwork, we receive a holiday card from friends, which the wife addresses only to my husband. It is always a jolly card filled with their family adventures and achievements for the year, and it invariably leaves me wondering why she thinks it’s OK to leave me off the envelope. My husband and I have been together for more than 20 years. She knows I exist. We have met. I went to her wedding. Our husbands are dear friends.
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…And Then What Happened?
Read moreThis week, we find ourselves continuing to work our way through what God has to say about evil and suffering and possible reasons why he allows them to exist. We have previously looked at what the Bible says about evil and suffering as punishment for sin, as a consequence of other people’s sin, and as an outworking of the fallen angels’ free will manifest in all sorts of natural evil, including disasters and disease. However, the Bible also speaks of the necessity of some evil and suffering bringing about “a greater good.” Most all of us can think of pain and suffering that we endured only to come later to realize that the suffering brought about a particular state of affairs that could not have been otherwise discovered. This line of argument is often called the greater good defense and is one of the five categories of possible reasons why God allows suffering and evil to exist in the world to bring about God’s desired ends.
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DEAR ABBY: I am 54 and already facing ageism. Some of my neighbors who are in their 30s and 40s make ageist statements aimed at me. These people do not know me but happen to live in my building. One time, I was wearing a brand-new purple winter coat I loved. It was a gift from a close friend. A woman complimented me on my coat, followed by, “I didn’t know you could wear something like that at your age.” I was offended but remained silent and didn’t react emotionally.
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DEAR ABBY: I am a man who was widowed 11 months ago. I met a woman on a dating site, and we clicked immediately. We have been enjoying each other’s company for several months. We have a long-distance relationship. She lives three hours away. Although she indicated on the dating site her status as “separated for two years,” she still lives in the marital house with her husband. She recently filed for divorce, but it could be a while before it is finalized. I’ve asked her why she doesn’t move out now to protect her mental health. She says it would be throwing money away.
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