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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years. Everyone we know thinks we are married, but we never got it on paper. He has always been less empathetic than I would like, and there’s a lot of stuff I either had to accept or move on. He never buys me gifts (no matter how much I’ve told him it bothers me), and it has been a struggle for him to even hug me when I’m sad.
Read moreDEAR ABBY: My wife’s nephew is getting divorced. The process seems to be amicable; there was no cheating or abuse. They have two children. Even though the soon-to-be-ex, “Michelle,” has always been welcoming and nice, my wife’s family has circled the wagons. They no longer talk to her and have made clear I can’t either. I don’t think that’s right.
Read moreDEAR ABBY: I lost my beloved puppy, “Truffle,” nine months ago. She was almost 15. I had to euthanize her because she was ill and suffering. I cannot begin to describe the depth of grief I’m experiencing. Her loss has been harder for me than any human loss. We had a connection that words cannot express. Truffle captured my soul. I work from home, and we spent every day together. I’m thankful that I had a lot more time with her because of this.
Read moreAfter getting in around two in the morning from helping Jackie, the mare, give birth to her new little filly, I was exhausted. I ate quickly and went to bed. But I didn’t dare sleep too long. The temperature was below zero, and the wind cut right through you. By around six, I was up again and on my way to check on the baby. When I got back to the horse barns, I was glad to see all was well. Jackie was an old, experienced mother, and she had her baby snuggled by her inside the barn. The barn only had walls on three sides, but I had put straw on most of the fourth side, leaving a door barely big enough for a horse to go in and out. The straw had done a good job blocking the wind. There were a few extra spots between the bales, so I stuffed loose straw into them to block them off even more. Jackie also lay on the side of her baby to block what breeze got through. Though the baby, having come from California, didn’t have the thick winter hair I was used to on horses in the north, the baby blanket I had wrapped and tied around her seemed to be keeping her warm. When the sun came up enough for me to see, I adjusted the little blanket and snugged it up. As I was working, old Cyrus, a retired cowboy who lived in the apartments across the street, came over. He liked to come and give me advice on everything from politics to the weather, but he mostly talked about horses. He was especially happy to see the new baby. “Wow!” he said. “I have never seen a baby horse born with so little hair in the winter.” “It’s probably because of her and her mother being in California until only a little while ago,” I said. “I didn’t think about that making a difference, but it must have.” “That’s a right innovative way to keep it warm,” he said. “What’s on the little blanket?” “Teddy bears,” I replied. “It is an old one we had for our daughter.” As I continued working, Cyrus disappeared, then returned with about half the residents of the apartment complex. There were a couple of other old ranchers who came over regularly, but I didn’t know most of the individuals. There were lots of people coming all day long. I worked all day trying to get things ready so I wouldn’t have to do too much on Christmas, which was in a couple of days. I got home late in the afternoon. My almostthree- year-old daughter, Celese, had learned about the baby horse from her mother and was excited. “Go see hosey?” she asked. “We’ll go tomorrow,” I told her. “Tonight, we need to go shopping.” I desperately needed new shoes, since mine had holes and let snow through. My wife, Donna, bundled up the baby, and the four of us headed to the store. When we got to the shoe section, there was the cutest pair of little cowgirl boots just Celese’s size. I just had to see how she would look. We tried them on her, and they were cute. But when we went to put them back, she cried. “You know,” I said to Donna, “I think I can make my old shoes work for a while longer.” I knew we didn’t have money for both. What I didn’t know was that Donna was afraid I wouldn’t spend money on new shoes and had found me a pair for Christmas from the want ads. The next day, when we went to see the baby horse, Celese was so proud to wear her boots. She was especially proud when Cyrus told her how good she looked in them. “And you have a new baby horse for Christmas, too,” Cyrus said.
Read moreLast time, we touched upon the frequently reported phenomenon known as terminal lucidity. As the name implies, terminal lucidity occurs in patients who have long since become catatonic due to disease or trauma affecting brain function. Many patients, it continues to be reported, experience brief moments of clarity of thought and communicate with incredible coherence to those around them, not long before dying. Deathbed visions are another end-oflife phenomenon in which patients have and act upon visions of people not physically present. Over and again, hospice caregivers report patients experiencing deathbed visions, which are confirmed by multiple studies from around the world, indicating that about 40 percent of families report a loved one as having had an end-of-life experience.
Read moreDEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 23 years, married for almost nine. We are in our 60s. It’s the second marriage for both of us. I retired due to having to move to another state for his job. I make friends wherever I go and get involved in community activities.
Read moreDEAR ABBY: I am a very overweight woman, but down 50 pounds from my top weight and continuing at a consistent, but slow, rate to lose. My A1C is now down to pre-diabetic, so I know my efforts are making a difference. I recently had a terrible bout of sciatica and pain in an arthritic knee, which kept me from some anticipated travel.
Read moreDEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I were best friends. We shared everything -- dreams, laughs and struggles. I was convinced we’d grow old together. When he proposed, I said yes without hesitation. We had plans to start a family, but he asked me to wait until we purchased a home. I waited five years, trusting that the dream we had built together was still alive.
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