Daughter Wrongly Blames Mom for Calling the Cops

DEAR ABBY: I have a grown daughter who is most likely an alcoholic. I am not a doctor, so I really don’t know. We live in different cities. A few years ago, she was sitting on the sidewalk outside her apartment dead drunk and holding a lit cigarette. Someone saw her passed out and called the police, who took her to jail. To this day, she accuses me of having called the police. It wasn’t me. I didn’t know what was happening. This makes me furious. I have no reason to lie to her. The next morning, her boss called me looking for her. We found out later she had been arrested. After talking with her boss, I did phone the police to ask if maybe she was at the station. I live 30 miles away. I’m angry because I’m being falsely accused. I know I need to let this go, but she triggers me every time she brings it up, and it’s been five years! Please help me. -- DRAMA MAMA IN TEXAS DEAR DRAMA MAMA: Whoever called the police to report that there was a woman passed out on the curb did your daughter a favor. She was vulnerable and was taken to safety. Whatever your daughter’s problem is, whether it’s alcohol, some other substance or mental health issues, she is clearly a troubled individual. When she accuses you, don’t bother getting into an argument with her. Reiterate that whoever it was did her a favor and then change the subject.