After suffering from a botched hysterectomy that led to corrective surgeries, I finally began to mend emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s not important to name the hospital, nor the doctor, since there’s always a possibility of human error where humans are involved.

I suffered such pain I never knew existed, wondering why God left me alone. Because I could not stand, sit, or lie down, I was hanging onto a bedrail in sheer agony, but finally my prayer-warrior daughter, Scarlette, took charge of me and told me sternly to start praising God whether I felt like it or not. Even though I thought that would be impossible, I forced myself to start chewing those words and spit them out—continuously. Finally, it got a little easier. (Much later I was reminded that’s what you do when you are in dire straits, needing God to intervene in a serious situation. We are allowed to have trials on this earth in order to test our faith. Do we curse God or call on His name for help? We need to know we will always need God in order to live our best life. Read in the Bible how Job handled his trying situation.)

I will just say in the first few days I was in the hospital, everything that could go wrong did. It was years before the countenance on my face came back to normal. I think of all the bungling I experienced from nurses, a doctor, and technicians. I now am reminded of old movies of the 3 Stooges with Curly, Larry, and Moe in charge. The following sketch/poem describes how it felt.

PIN CUSHION Let them have way to my body, my life, and see what happened.

I had to pray that if it were my time to go, I’ll go.

If not, I’ll come out alright. So, I’m comforted to know that I’ll be alright.

Surprise…surprise…surprise!

Everything that can go wrong does.

Ungodly, Amiss, backwards, haywire— IVs are a lark by whomever gives them.

Some are good, and some are not.

Some prick the pin cushions of your veins Whispering ‘Sorry.’ ‘Sorry.’ ‘Sorry.’

‘Oh, good. I think I got it this time!’

After some time, fluid escapes from my veins And swells my arm. Burns like hell.

Buzz the buzzer. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Then, needle is reinserted in another Baby-tender place. I wonder why… Then it happens all over again.

How many veins will quit rolling to escape The invasive needle? With some strength I request—no, INSIST--only the best.

This time someone on another floor comes so confident.

Gets it—but, after 2 tries while I keep my conversations to God But wondering how much a body can take, so challenged to my wit’s end.

INCREDIBLE MISHAPS Replacing an empty bag: Oops! He dropped it, Causing fluid to drench my thin hospital gown!

The cold room helped to cause immediate teeth chattering.

The nurse changed my gown, and put a heavenly warm blanket over me.

However, as procedure was to begin, inner-body kept shaking.

Procedure forced to begin again.

Another day, another test on my nerves.

Take note: tummy hadn’t eaten for days.

The basement floor with Xray machines seemed ancient.

Strong sickening smell of rubber mixed with odors from cafeteria Challenged me greatly as I was left alone What seemed like hours in that wheelchair.

Needed to vomit but no food in tummy.

BACK TO THE BEGINNING After a ‘normal’ surgery, I go home for weekend.

Sudden pain hits. Driven madly to hospital.

Encouraged to drink lots of fluids.

Home again. Sudden pain hits. Driven madly to hospital.

Encouraged to drink fluids. Home again but not for long.

Back to hospital. Left in ER. Doctor to return Monday!

Suffered horribly all night. Monday cometh.

After examination, learned fluids blocked from surgical stitches.

Kidneys about to burst: Anesthesia. Surgery.

Liquid diet. Jello. Jello. Jello. More examination: Colon twisted from improper handling. Function blocked.

Prepared for more surgery.

Anesthesia. Surgery. Hallucinations.

Many IVs weakened my senses to fight.

The whole time in and out of the hospital seemed a whirlwind While losing control over my being.

Note: After 3 months and last surgery I challenged myself to go back to work.

The work I loved would help me heal, but, 25 years later I still broke down sharing my experience.

Why I didn’t sue hospital: I saw 3 different lawyers. Each said by the time I’d fly in doctors from another state to testify wrongdoing, I’d come out about even. Anyway, I’d been through enough. I believed it would have been too stressful to go through all of what happened in detail.

The first step of healing began when I asked the erring doctor to my bedside. I told her I forgave her, that it could happen in any surgery. She looked at me in disbelief and thanked me. I never saw her again since I was being taken care of by 4 doctors for some time.

Nobody likes pain but while experiencing it, I can think that there’s always somebody worse off than myself. I couldn’t remember that thought at the beginning of this particular time since the pain was so intense. But, now when someone tells me of similar trials, I tell them the most important thing is to forgive those who caused them pain. Forgiveness helps one heal faster than anything, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. God created us that way. It was worth it if I can help others gain peace simply by learning to forgive. And then, they too can help others. This is my prayer.

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