These days, Mandy and Kenny take nothing for granted. Not their marriage. Not their three daughters or granddaughter. Not their time together as a family or time together as a couple. But it hasn’t always been that way. It all slipped away four years ago after 22 years of marriage. It didn’t happen in a day. It happened one step at a time as Kenny moved farther and farther away from Mandy and the kids. Clinical depression played a part as Kenny grew quiet and more withdrawn. Eventually, Kenny had an affair, moved out and filed for divorce.

None of it made life better. Moving out didn’t cure his depression. Neither did another relationship. “I was angry all the time,” Kenny said. “I didn’t know why. I hated my life, and I hated being away from my family. I knew something was missing, but I couldn’t figure out what that was.” At work, Kenny talked often with a coworker, a born again believer, Robert. “I didn’t do anything special. I just tried to be there for him,” Robert said. “He was depressed, introspective and even mad a lot.”

Mandy said the first two years after the divorce were the worst. “There are no words to describe the hopelessness and despair,” she said. “I tried to rebuild my life and even tried dating to move on, but that didn’t work.” Meanwhile at work, Kenny watched Robert handle his own issues. His life wasn’t perfect, but the way he looked at everything was different. “There was just something special about Robert,” Kenny said. “He was excited about life, happy and peaceful. He had problems like the rest of us, but he handled it so differently because of God.”

After dozens of invitations, Kenny finally went to a worship service with Robert. The first Sunday shocked Kenny. Robert’s Church was a big campus and a huge number of family members, but when the minister began preaching that Sunday morning, Kenny felt as if he was the only one in the Sanctuary, and the sermon had been written just for him. He came back the next week and the next. Neither Mandy nor Kenny knew much about faith. Mandy had gone to church as a child, and she and Kenny sometimes went to church on holidays, but mostly not at all. They knew Jesus as the baby in a manger for Christmas but not as someone who loved and cared for them.

Kenny began taking his daughters to church with him every other weekend. They, too, loved the services and begged Mandy to go along. It was hard to say no to church. “What kind of mom does that?” Mandy said. Little by little, Mandy began to see changes in Kenny—more joy, more peace, more love toward her and the girls. He was reading his Bible and seeing a counselor. Good things happened in baby steps.

“I realized that God was what I’d been missing all my life,” Kenny said. “And I missed Mandy, too.” At work, Robert assured Kenny that it wasn’t too late to turn things around. “Mandy was always there for him,” Robert said. “I’d say, ‘Hey, dude. Mandy is not your backup plan. She’s an amazing wife and mom. God is leading you choose her.’”

On Oct. 16, 2015, as a lot of people were baptized at Robert’s Church, Kenny made his way to the front of the worship center, gave his life to Christ and was baptized. He began asking questions and searching for who God wanted him to be. He talked often with Robert about his newfound faith.

An emergency became the catalyst for a big life change within the family. When Mandy took a bad fall August 2016, she called Kenny to take her to the hospital. A few days later, she called him again. Doctors found five blood clots in her leg, and she needed to stay in the hospital. “Kenny came to the hospital and never left,” Mandy said. “He was there through everything.”

A few weeks later, Kenny had surgery on his knee, and both he and Mandy hobbled on crutches. The two began to find one another again as the girls took care of their parents. “The more time we spent together, the more we talked and reconnected,” Kenny said. “I knew that more than anything, I wanted her back.” The two chose their original anniversary, March 23, to be remarried in their home.

Looking back, Mandy and Kenny urge other couples not to give up on their marriage. “Four years ago, it all slipped away,” Kenny said. “The journey back was long and hard, something I never want to go through again. But what we learned made it worth it. The problem was we didn’t have God in our lives. Now we pray and study individually and together.”

Mandy is in the process of learning and growing, too. “People think divorce will make them happy,” she said. “The truth is, when you’re not happy, you have to fix you.” Kenny treasures time with Mandy and the girls. “Once we were headed toward divorce, and I thought there was no way to return,” he said. “But I have learned that there is nothing broken that God can’t fix.”

John T. Catrett, III

ONHL Hospice Chaplain