If you are fortunate enough to have one or both of your parents, I encourage you to read this article and take what I’m sharing to heart. At this point in life I have already lost my father and my mother, so I wish I had read (and heeded) an article like this some years ago.

These are just some of the questions I wish I had asked my mother and father and grandparents. You may find this helpful in prompting your own thinking about questions to ask those you care for.

1. What do you most regret about your life? What, if anything, would you have done differently? Imagine the valuable lessons that someone in their sixties, seventies, or eighties could teach you.

2. What strengths do you wish you had possessed in earlier parts of your life? Do they vary at all from one decade to another? Pay attention to strengths that repeat themselves in your parents’ answers and ask about them versus others that change.

3. What are you thinking now...about death? I began to ponder this question soon before my mother passed and sincerely wish I had asked her. It is a good question to ask someone at any point in their life, but particularly as they get older. It would provide interesting insight just knowing different people’s answers. Please keep in mind that depending upon the person, this can be a subject to broach gently. Try volunteering your own feelings first to spark a dialogue.

4. What has been your biggest disappointment in life? What has been your greatest accomplishment so far? It is quite possible you will receive some honest answers, which may even surprise you.

5. What do you wish you had asked those close to you before they died? What questions do you really wish you had sought answers to before it was too late? If you have a mother like mine, she contemplates deeply about subjects like this. Or, if she hasn’t, your question will prompt some fascinating reflections on her part. Believe me I wish so much I had asked questions like these instead of talking about things that didn’t matter much in the big scheme of things.

This writer has many regrets about life, but right now the one weighing on my heart most is what I never asked my mother. I wish I had learned more from her when I had a chance. These questions could have helped me learn more about this precious lady.

John T. Catrett, III

ONHL Hospice Chaplain

124 East Broadway, PO Box 1216

Drumright, Ok. 74119

(918) 352-3080